“It’s okay I’m still in my twenties I have time to grow”, I said for the very last time because tomorrow, TOMORROW I Tahira Shavonne will be 30! It’s bittersweet though because while I loved the youthful defense time waits for no one.
Well I guess this is goodbye…
I’ve known you for 10 years and I think I waited to meet you for about 19 years, we’ve had our ups and downs and I really thought that I would never make it out of this relationship but I’m so glad for every lesson you taught me. For every journey we went through. For every piece of wisdom that you imparted in me. You taught me courage through fear, patience through rejection, compassion through disappointment, and contentment in lack.
Essentially, you taught me every day is a gift! Rest assured what I have witnessed with you I’ll never forget and to categorize every moment would require something like memoir. The funny thing is I really thought that I was mature and (Add)dult when we met, so I guess I am in total appreciation to you for your kindness and not clobbering me into reality but instead gently guiding me to the truth.
I don’t know if I fear this new relationship or if I’ll just miss being envied by Carrie Bradshaw as she relentlessly refers to me as a 20-something. I never want to demean what we had as a simple love affair, I want to believe that what we built will last forever. With you I grew, not into perfection or fantasy but with you I learned how to develop into ME! It was you who introduced me to ME!
So what did you teach me about myself? Well that’s a loaded question but here are a few things…
- Always trust your passion- it is the truest form of self trying to escape.
- Gut is not a cliche it is everything go with it!
- 20’s are not for being an adult they are for perfecting youth and having many many MANY identity crisie.
- I am awesome in every sense of the word and if it’s important to me THEN IT IS IMPORTANT… self-worth is capital, it should not (NEVER) be minimized!
- Somethings don’t need to be said as a matter of fact what is understood certainly doesn’t require words.
- There is satisfaction in silence (my voice is precious no need to waste it)
- Being right is very different from being just, sometimes what is right to do is not always favorable (to me) but it MUST be done!
- Comparison is a societal myth everyone is perfectly them. It’s hard enough finding yourself without trying to incorparte someone else into the process.
- Doors will open, some will close! Lessons can be long, time moves quickly appreciate it all!
- Whatever I do make sure that its justifiable in the morning (authenticity is key, if it was right for you then it was right just be careful not to be too quick on the draw, you want to be able to love yourself later)
- You be the best friend you can be PERIOD, never allow your desire for reciprocity to deter you from giving yourself completely. It’s freeing and if anyone doesn’t receive it at least you can walk away knowing you gave your best.
Perhaps ten years from now I’ll be arriving to my new fair-weather friend appreciating it’s lessons but no one will ever compare to the 10 years that was my 20’s. 20’s my dear it is hard to believe it is over and we will never see each other again but My Love on this last day of 29 I want you to know you will be truly missed!
Ms. Tahira 29