Stiletto Standards… Can standards be too HIgh?????

Firstly, Hey WHIMS! Thanks for coming back! I love you blogarians (lol) already!



Am I just a newbie or have they always been so darn complicated. Like when do people become honest about who they are and where they are and what they can produce. Before I begin typing an I hate men rant that would shame all 154 of Shakespeare’s sonnets! Why don’t you take a dating pilgrimage in my Jimmy Choo’s?

Things you must know going into this closet

  1. This will be a tale of what NOT to do!
  2.  I’m not using chronology!!!

Let’s do it like this 3 guys, 3 eras, 3 disasters!

The Wedge Heel

Aaaahhhh, the most comfortable shoe in the closet. I like to think of it as ol’ faithful. I mean seriously ladies you can work in them, dance in them and if your anything like my team you can do yard work in them. I wondered though why doesn’t the entire gender band together to only wear the shoe that extends your legs to the heavens but feels like your flat to the ground? Answer, while it is comfortable and reliable it’s not always the best look!  Don’t get me wrong I have seen a good looking wedge in my day, however, it is never the right shoe for everything you have in your wardrobe. It just doesn’t make a statement like a nice black pump.

Weeeeellllll my Wedge Heel, iiiissssss let’s call him Aaron.

He has my “list” almost checked off. STTTTTTOOOOOOPPPPPP……………………. DO NOT judge me as if you don’t have a list, written or mental you have one. YOU HAVE ONE!!!! I mean he is the the male version of Emily Post when it comes to etiquette. Everyone loves him and he is willing unlike some guys to be very present at every event. He has a job, goes to church, and as cliché as it sounds loves his momma. More importantly, I was the very best thing that ever happened to him, and if I wasn’t I would have no idea but not only that no one else would. He was the kind of guy to drop everything he was doing to drive me 5 hours away from home just because I wanted chicken from my favorite spot and I missed my best friend terribly. As if that wasn’t enough he brought me jewelry to thank me for allowing him to spend so much time with me. Every month I got really good “just because” gifts and every day  had at least 3 phone calls and countless text.

Sounds Perfect right?

Clearly it wasn’t because Aaron in all his glory is now a was!

True to his wedge heelness, the attraction was the complication. Now looks are not everything and I certainly have not been named Miss Universe but I think you should like to look at the person your dating. Now what I think is Hot someone else may think is a hot mess but as long as I am attracted to it that is all that is important. But Whims it is important. Attraction keeps the fire going, and the absence of it creates something even worse and that is embarrassment.  There is nothing worse than having the perfect outfit or in this case relationship, but being insecure about showing it off because you don’t feel amazing in it. I don’t care how many people say you slay, if you don’t feel like you are hot your not. It’s the same with Aaron everyone else loves the look but I didn’t so on to the next…

Side Bar…attraction is not just a face thing, you can be unattracted to they way they talk, eat, the annoying way they cling to you! Whatever it is if you can’t bare it Don’t! As long as you understand that to someone you too are a wedge. You’re not perfect and your flaws maybe unattractive to someone.

What not to do in the world of Wedge Heels????

  • Figure out if one thing is worth giving them away, before you see someone else wearing them just right! Maybe you should just take some time away and pair them with something else. It could be that your perception needs to change not the shoe!
  • on the other hand if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work after you take a hard look at yourself, and you feel the same don’t keep wearing the wedge because its comfortable, practical and socially accepted! Personally I’d rather go bare foot

The Kitten Heel Sandal

Kitten Heel Sandals (KHS) are cute for the summer and easy to wear at cook-outs, amusement parks and and and…………….. i’m drawing a blank here……… 0_o ummm I guess no where else ever! Please kill the kitten heel. They are for a certain occasion and ONLY ONE SEASON!!!!

Wow, my KHS let’s call him Joe! Joe was cute, sweet, smelt really really good, had ambition and was so much fun! he made me laugh all the time and I was totally in with the family! However, he like Aaron is a was! Joe’s job in my life was to pull me out of my dating rut. I had been single for a very long time and just realize I was ready to get back out there. I needed someone exciting to do just that. The relationship was problematic because we didn’t have any of the important things in common. We couldn’t even worship together and that was a big NO! The truth about a KHS is while you would love to spend all your time at beaches, cookouts, and amusement parks that’s not realistic. You need to work, shop go to church spend time at love ones houses and go to sophisticated events none of which you can do in you KHS! So just like the summer that season had to come to an end.

What not to do in the Kitten Heel Sandal

  • Don’t be like me and fall in love with someone temporary. What happens is you will get hurt when reality sets in. God and the universe will make it very hard for you to be happy in a situation that was not designed for you!
  • Never make a sandal your favorite shoe to wear because the snow comes sooner than you think!

The Stiletto Pump

Black Stiletto Pump how I love thee let me count the ways. You can be simple and understated with a maxi or jeans, or you can be fierce and sassy with ANYTHNG! This heel goes with every single thing. Everything! As far as I was concerned you marry the stiletto, you die with the stiletto! Until I spent a long period of time in them. That’s when I realized they are by far the most painful thing to wear in the world. What makes it worse is they are so deceiving to the eye to the heart and to society that we have tricked ourselves into believing that all the discomfort is worth the overall look!

Now, while it only takes a few hours for your stiletto to kill your feet my stiletto lasted 6 years! The idea of him worked in every situation. I loved him and the way he looked, and how he fit in anywhere! so much so I was willing to repair whatever was wrong, I took on the profession of the cobbler to make sure I didn’t have to get rid of Steve the Stiletto.  Problem? Steve was so painful. No matter how ideal he was, I was his wedge heel, and I knew it! Stilettos are not loyal to the wearer they are all about image and what is best for them and at the end of the day they are for show only! They are not made to stand the test of time and neither will they try to.

What not to do in the couture culture of the Stiletto Pump

  • Never rely on them they hurt every single time
  • unlike shoes can switch for a pair of flats so try to get a 3 inch that fits you good

The issue is we all have deal breakers (standards) and I don’t think there is one right height or heel for everyone. I think everyone should find out what which shoe they can shop by the mall in, drop off a friends going away gift in and do laundry in and keep that one because those are the moments that make up the sum of your life. AS for me I’m currently rocking a pair of Doc Martin’s I’ll let you know how they feel after I break them in!

Good Luck Whims!!!


Ps. guys don’t get discouraged i’ll have things for you to and they wont always be this long lol



12 thoughts on “Stiletto Standards… Can standards be too HIgh?????

Add yours

  1. Didnt get a chance before but wanted to let you know I love your blog!! And to this I think every shlegal can relate. 🙂


  2. I absolutely love it. Nothing but the the truth. Very powerful. Especially the n ver make the sandal your favorite… Wow


  3. This was a wonderful read!! 🙂 Wonderful writing too, btw. How precise your shoe references were able to parallel the types of guys. You can basically do a dating advice column too every so often!! I want more! lol I basically want the “what to do” now. lol!

    Can’t wait to read your next post!



  4. This blog was beyond incredible, I’m sure everyone that took the time out to read your blog was truly beyond touched & blessed, I loved how fun, classy and godly you kept it while giving us all this inspiring advice. Not to mention how awesome it was that you added shoes within your context & within comparison. Although every area within this blog was incredible, I absolutely loved how you spoke about the ” Kitten heel Sandal”……..sadly I believe that we all have encountered this sandal but needless to say I love how you made it your mission to tell us not to fall in love with someone that is temporary. Thank you again for your blog, your encouragement and uplifting yet fun filled words. God bless you and continue to reach into your destiny.

    ~ Sincerely, Janay F. Wages


  5. Smart and interesting piece. Shoe shopping can be fun…we have to know the condition of our feet and not force a fit. Life has shown me the wedge works best…it’s cute and can be comfortable!!! Looking forward to more of your writing.

    ~your seasoned/youthful cousin


  6. This was very well written and unbelievably true! We have all had our “stilettos” in our life, some have had a few! Keep the posts coming!!


  7. THIS ONE RIGHT HERE!!! Whew!!😅 Just got my whole life together!!!😩😩 that stiletto pump thoughhhhhh?! OUCH!! Def hit home!! I’m sooooo sorry I missed all of these GREAT reads!! You ARE UNBELIEVABLY TALENTED!!! And CREATIVE!!! #foreverfam #imaWHIMnow 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆🙃

    Liked by 1 person

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